Video Reviews

Thought I’d review some video I’ve been watching. 

Terry suggestrf this video blog by Jerry Seinfeld. It’s a fun concept, especially if you like coffee, comedians and cars, which I do. My personal favorite episode - Alec Baldwin. Best car - '69 Jag XKE (with Sarah Silverman).

As for movies, the best I saw in the last couple of weeks was "End of Watch" about two street cops in South Central L.A. Good performances, lots of action and a nice buddy bro-mance between the partners. Warning - It's depressing . 

"The Listening Room" was also watchable.The male and female leads worked well together and there were some nice action scenes. It was extremely cynical, and had one logical hole that brought the movie down for me. 

I also watched some episodes of "The Glades". Best part is the relationship between the hero and his girl friend. They are really cute together. I think I'll give up on it, though. The perpetrator always turns out to be a peripheral character. You know it's never going to be one of the main two or three suspects. I've called the results half way through for three straight episodes.

It's great to be home. Food is so much better, for one thing. The welcome from the animals was not as enthusiastic as last time, but Judy did give me some lap time. Terry is pillar of strength as always. 

Update - Finally

I can’t deny it’s been a rough couple of weeks. About half-way through cycle number four I fell down and had to get Terry to help me up. I wasn’t hurt, but was checked into the hospital when I reported the incident. 

Soon after checking in, things got worse. I threw up, a very bad development with an ileostomy.  A CT scan revealed irritation of the intestinal wall causing a partial blockage. They put a tube down my nose for a couple of days and had me take in nothing by mouth. This was followed by a few more days of clear liquids only. In the meantime they decided to drip TPN, which is a nutritional supplement delivered through your blood stream.

Currently I’m getting TPN and am on a diet of pureed food, like someone with a broken jaw would get. It’s pretty bad here in the hospital, but Terry has bought a machine to do the pureeing at home, and I’m allegedly going to be released today.

I also had a low grade fever when I checked into the hospital. It took them awhile to get a handle on it, but they did, and I was able to start round five of my chemo on time. I’m now on day four. On the plus side, I’m feeling little pain, and I’m able to concentrate enough to read, watch t.v. and listen to music. My weight is holding steady. On the negative side, I’m really weak. I can’t play guitar, and need a walker to get around. I also have no appetite and have to force myself to eat what I can.

So, it’s one day at a time. Seventeen more days on this cycle and then 21 days for the last cycle. Hopefully, I’ll be ready for my stomach operation by then. That will require recovery time, but maybe in a couple of months I’ll be starting to feel better.

More immediately, it looks like I'll be home today and see Judy and Koz-B . That will lift to my spirits.

Slide Guitar Agenda

Those of you who’ve been through chemo know how weak you get. You can feel the weight of a fork as you pick it up. Last night I was making heroic efforts to play good barre chords. This was right after I’d come off my four day’s of chemo from the infamous bag, a weak point in the 21 day cycle.

I actually woke up with a small bruise on my barring finger - bummer!

I went down to the Cancer Center today for my neulasta shot. One of their standard questions is “any new bruising or cuts.” So, I told my tale of woe. “Why don’t you play slide for awhile?” the nurse asked. WTF. That was it! I didn’t even know she played. I’m sure she didn’t know I played. 

I have an agenda! My calluses on the left hand are still there, though a bit soft. As for the right hand, my fingernails are still strong. I’m having to play pretty softly with my weak muscles, but I’m playing. Kudos to the nurse, whose name I never caught. I’m sure I’ll see her, though, and thank her. This could end up being a blessing in disguise by helping improve my slide chops. (The bruise, by the way, is already in full retreat).

Through it all I’ve got the loving wife, friends, pets, music listening, reading, t.v. watching etc. to keep me happy or at least happy-ish.

Since my last post, I got my weight up to 138. A good technique I’ve developed is the medicinal teaspoon of peanut or almond butter from time to time. It really binds things, which is an important issue, as I explained a few posts ago. 

With the 2/3 mark soon to arrive, I’m feeling confident and optimistic. 

Reflections on Baby Boomers

A few nights ago four of us were around the table after dinner shooting the breeze. We got to talking about singers and broadway show music from the 1950s --- music I never had much interest in. It made me reflect on the great differences from those who were teenagers in the 1950s and those who came of age in the 1960s.

1967’s “Summer of Love”, along with the increasing opposition to the Vietnam War, really made a huge difference in peoples’ life styles. Young blog readers, and some contemporaries, might not realize or have forgotten what a big deal these events were. Those who graduated from college before “65 tended to go the traditional route of getting “straight” jobs, getting married in their twenties, and settling down, while many from the class of ’68 and later were much less likely to immediately seek a career and start a family. Many pursued alternative life styles, becoming carpenters, instrument makers, musicians, concert promoters, community organizers, farmers, alternative manufacturers, perpetual travelers or just dropping out all together by joining a commune or religious cult or whatever. 

My wife Terry and I are on the cusp of the Baby Boomer Generation, one on each side (Dale’s birthday - Nov 30, 1944. Signing of Japanese Surrender Document - Sept 2, 1945. Terry’s birthday - Feb 2, 1946).

We fell solidly in the second group. We took drugs, let our hair grow and married in our mid thirties. After college I went into the Peace Corps, spent six months hitching around Europe, and became a musician and later part owner of a music store, continuing to play and teach. Terry kicked around for six years between college and law school, some of the time living in a communal house in Berkeley and traveling to Europe and Mexico for extended periods. Then she took up immigration law. 

Dale in the Peace Corps - 1968 and Terry (Center Front) with Roommates - Berkeley early '70s

Okay, I realize I’m oversimplifying, but I stand by my theory. I’ll also add that these differences seem much less important as you get older, and some of the older values like politeness, dressing nicely, and enjoying Broadway shows and Opera, have, hopefully, brought me somewhat into the “traditional” camp.

On the medical front, I’m back home in the middle of my second chemo go round. I’m feeling pretty peppy, probably due to the prednisone. The doctors are still not 100% sure what the issue is in my lungs, but the mysterious lung spots got smaller in between scans, so the chance of them being lymphoma are evidently VERY small now.

We had a very good discussion with a nutritionist who stressed taking in protein, calories and things that would slow digestion down like nut butters and pectin, and avoiding roughage including things you might not think of like bread crust and brown rice. I’m managing to continue to gain weight and and I’m now at 132 from a low of 119. “Fighting weight” = 155 to 160.

Count Your Blessings - Might as Well, They're All You've Got

I was whining to my wife a few days ago something like this - “I can only concentrate for about 30 minutes before I get a headache and have to lie down and close my eyes until it goes away.”

“Well,” she responded, “at least you can concentrate for awhile and you can get rid of the headache.”

Temporary Upstairs Dining Room

She’s right, of course. You really do have to take pleasure in what you can do, and appreciate the moment whenever you can. Agonizing over what you’ve lost, or do or do not have is a big waste of time. It’s always now and things are as they are.

I got to thinking about some of the great moments I’ve had over the last few days - getting locked into a tune streaming over my music system, watching the beautiful late afternoon / early evening light while lying on my lounger in the back yard, and having Judy curl up at my side and start purring.

In particular I remember a really nice dinner with Terry night before last. I was “stuck” upstairs with my pole and attached fluid bag. She set up a “table” in the alcove of our bedroom using tray tables inherited from her late mother Jane pushed together. We had a leisurely, “proper” dinner with cloth napkins etc. Dining like this has been an important tradition for us that has been thrown off since my treatments started, so this felt so calming and “right”.

Things are pretty good right now. Nearly ten extra days between treatments have me remembering what normal feels like and allowed me to gain five pounds.

Medical Update - (Techno-Babble Alert)

I learned more about my ileostomy yesterday when the surgeon explained that temporary ones like mine are several inches from the end of the small intestine to make reconnection easier. Those few inches mean I have less intestine and, therefore, time to get the nutrients from my food. Basically, I have to work harder than someone with a permanent one to keep on weight. All I can do is keep working at it, eating as much and as often as I can.

Today I got the skinny on the issue I have with my right lung. After numerous tests doctors tell me it’s “most likely” a fungal infection. The good news is that they have ruled out aspergillosis, which is very serious and common among people undergoing chemo. 

There is still a possibility it could be lymphoma, but, since the chemo has been so effective against my tumors, they don’t see how a new growth could appear.

To deal with the (hopefully) fungal infection, I’m starting a new med called voriconazole. If it works, then they’ll know they were right. The drug costs a fortune in co-pay, and warns of the possibility of hallucinations. That, actually, could be cool depending on what they are. I remember really enjoying the side effects of an anti-malaria medicine we took in the 1990s for a trip to India. 

The lung issue has put off my next chemo treatment until Wednesday, if the fungal theory is correct. I’m sort of bummed about it, though I am feeling a bit better as the days without chemo go by. Obviously, though, It puts off the completion date.

Things are continuing in our new routine. Neighbors and friends bring by some very good food, and our “staff” of volunteers continue to put in hours. I’m doing a lot of music listening with some guitar playing, blog writing, t.v. watching and reading thrown in. 

Listening to Music

Like most everyone, I’d guess, I can’t remember when I first started enjoying listening to music, but it could easily have been when my father, Dale Sr., would sing my late brother Mead and me to sleep with cowboy ballads and pop songs from his youth, like Carolina Moon or When it’s Round Up Time in Texas. He’d also sing working in the yard or driving us to school in our ’49 Ford Coupe.

Later, like most of my generation, I have really fond memories of those little record players that folded into a cube with a handle. They played only 45s and created an instant party plugged into the nearest outlet (with the parents hopefully somewhere else).

In the early 60s LPs became the big thing. By the mid 60s the LP was an art form in itself, with gorgeous packaging and intensely thought out programming of each side. The release of a new LP by the Beatles or Dylan became a major event, with listeners gathered around in awe - “Wow, did you hear that? ‘The Ghost of Electricity Howls in the Bones of her Face’! Heavy.”

(Late adolescence and early adulthood also ushered in going to live concerts, coffee houses and bars with live music. This got me wanting to play on stage, but that’s a whole other story. For now I’m going to to continue to concentrate on home listening.)

The CD revolution caught me by surprise. I should have guessed when Kicking Mule Records contacted me with a very special deal to buy out my inventory of LPs sometime in the 1980s. Before I knew it people were putting their LPs in the basement and going over to CDs. It was a shock for me, but I rolled with it, playing both LPs and CDs into the 1990s. 

I had mixed feelings about shuffling tracks. Artists (including myself) had agonized for hours over programming LPs, and now anyone could punch a button and rearrange the whole recording. However, I can relate to the power-to-the-consumer ideal. I began shuffling myself, and even contemplated buying a fancy player that could shuffle six CDs.

I didn’t buy a first generation iPod, but I got the second generation one (2002 or so) and jumped head first into that technology. Within a year I had transferred my CDs and joined iTunes and purchased new music that way. Eventually, some company offered a turntable that could plug into a USB port and transfer directly from LP to digital on the computer and from there to my iPod. Currently, I have over 12 days of music on this amazing device (now a IV Generation iPod Classic) doubled on the computer.

When I first got my iPod I carefully created categories that weren’t already on iTunes, like Flamenco, Opera, Solo Guitar and African. I’d choose one (Previously mentioned or Jazz, Rock, Experimental, Classical etc.) and listen on shuffle. Then, about four years ago, I made a mistake and started playing in the root position on shuffle. I’ve never gone back. Now, when I listen to my iPod or streaming from iTunes, I’m in the root position on shuffle. I never know what is coming next from my 12+ days of music. There are some jarring juxtapositions, but mostly it’s great. In my current situation, I’m listening to music intensely with eyes closed four or more hours a day. I don’t know what I’d do without it.

Many of my “sitters” leave with a “I should listen to more music” comment.

What I have on iTunes and my iPod  - Video posted since my last entry